On Rejection: Navigating Situationships, Dating, and Twin Flames in the Digital Age

When you love deeply, you can get hurt deeply. There is no way around that. Have you ever convinced yourself that you would stop desiring a loving relationship and instead accept situationships and flings? Have you ever told yourself that there were no good partners left in the world, so you should settle for what was left? Many men have no interest in pursuing a woman or courting her. They act like little boys; they play their games, reeling you in cleverly, then being avoidant and blocking and ghosting when they start to catch feelings or they’re simply bored of the games. Many have long since become desensitized to having real feelings, because having real feelings means being honest with themselves and this requires looking at parts of themselves that they don’t want to look at. Many others are simply self-centered. They have created a world where the only thing of value, the center of their orbit, is themselves. These men will never be a quality partner for anyone. And yet, they can be the most attractive. They have the smoothest talk, and the most lure right at first. They are also the biggest quantity of men that are readily available.

These are the men that are widely available on any dating app. They can also be found at your local gym, adding you on Instagram and popping into the dms, not once but EVERY time you post a cute selfie. These men can be relentless. They are always on the prowl looking for their next victim. This can be highly attractive. They seem to be doing the chasing. They know how to make your heart flutter when you open your Instagram to another dm from them. They keep on coming back right when you were about to forget they exist. They add you on Snapchat. This is when it gets serious; they send adorable snaps of themselves at work, in their element, and they even text you when they are with the boys. You find yourself thinking about the boy who does this and pretty soon you are wanting to meet up. After the first couple times of hanging out, you wonder how he is in bed. You wouldn’t expect him to take you on a real date, because who does real dates in the year 2024 anyway???? Him coming over when he says he will is “consistent”, because that’s all you can expect from a guy in today’s world, right?

 Things continue to go well, until he starts to become distant. This man who has been consistently texting you good morning for the last month, forgot to one morning. He Snaps you at noon to say that it was just a busy day and he didn’t have time that morning. You know that if you had a busy morning, you would still Snap him before leaving the house. Because literally everyone is on their phone always. Plus, you noticed that he was active on Instagram at 5:30 this morning. But you know that bringing it up would be clingy. You know that saying anything would just make you look crazy. After all, you agreed to this by texting him back all those times.

As he continues to drift farther, you begin to hurt. You start beating yourself up for getting attached. As time goes on, you try to keep the communication going, and he, in typical avoidant fashion, disappears even more. He doesn’t tell you he is uninterested, though. No, that would be far too direct for the man who is led by his own inner little boy, the boy who never got loved as a child and is now afraid to be honest. Eventually, one day, after he just told you he is still interested, and then left you on delivered for 16 hours, he has blocked you. Or maybe, he just never opens your message.

A week goes by. You tell yourself he is just busy, but with each passing day, you find yourself clinging more and more to the idea of what you thought he was, the man who made you feel good (when he wasn’t hurting you by being inconsistent). Finally, you have to face the reality: you have been ghosted. Again, the anger sets in. Not anger against him, but anger against yourself for letting this happen. You are heartbroken. What is the answer? How do you heal from this? And how do you avoid guys like this in the future?

Rejection is painful. Speaking from experience here, guys. Not just a vague “sorry, that hurts” but a huge I get you from me. Why? Because I have been through all of it. I’m not exaggerating. Situationships, dating app fails, and finally, a twin flame. Highly wouldn’t recommend, by the way, in case you were hoping you met yours. It is a painful journey with self-work at the core. Anyway, the point is, I know how much it hurts. Back to my thought at the beginning: the deeper you love, the more the rejection hurts. But let me tell you something else: loving deeply is not a bad thing. If you tell yourself that you shouldn’t love as deeply, all you are doing is setting yourself up to accept less than divine love. If you tell yourself that the only men left are avoidants, narcissists, and gas lighters (because playing texting and internet games is gaslighting), then you are setting the bar for what you can expect to call in to your life. But there is hope. 

Contrary to popular opinion, which is gained from seeing what the dating apps have to offer, there are still good men left in the world. There are men who will open the door for you, not want to split the bill 50-50, and men who will be consistent and honest. But here’s the catch: to meet one, you have to become the kind of woman he would notice. And honestly, he won’t notice the woman who is chasing low effort boys who spend their time in multiple women’s dms. Nope, he will notice the woman who is healing. The woman who has found her soul mission. The woman who has looked at her own behaviors of self-loathing that justified putting up with situationships. So, in order to meet the one, you really do have to become the one. If any of this has resonated, be on the lookout for my book, I Swiped Left Again; The Evolving Woman’s Guide to Dating, Twin Flames, and Healing. In this book, I share a roadmap of how to find healing after putting up with low value men, while loving yourself and seeing yourself in a non-judgmental way. Additionally, I want to share that I am now offering one-to-one sessions to help women who are just like I was. My mission is to help women, twin flames or not, to heal from dysfunctional and abusive situations, and to find healing and hope, both with dating, and finding themselves. I haven’t officially launched these sessions yet on the website, but if you dm me we can work out the details and start working together. Sending you all much love! #twinflame #situationship #dating #womenhealing #womensempowerment #blocked #ghosted #datingapps