Balancing Compassion and Emotional Boundaries: Navigating Life as an Empath

Recently, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a while, someone that I hadn’t been on the best of terms with since then. The friendship (loose term here) really just blew up over stupid drama, but for people who live their lives in that state of mind led by low vibrations and immature thinking, everything that is seemingly small, makes or breaks friendships. I have noticed this a lot with people. The less evolved someone is, the more they tend to live in a constant state of drama where little things quickly become big things. This is not a judgment, simply an observation. The more that you are working in your own life towards big goals, self-improvement, and raising your own consciousness, the less that you want drama in your life, and the more these kinds of situations (and people) just drop off like extra weight. Anyway, this encounter really touched my heart, in a sad way. While this person hadn’t ever been kind to me or done anything worthy of my love and devotion, I was just struck with such a deep feeling of sadness and wishing I could help. Thinking about it afterwards, I wanted to reach out and hug them, to tell them it would all be okay and that life would work out. I knew I couldn’t do that, or even re-kindle the friendship, because of where they had chosen to be at in their life. I knew, from many previous experiences, that we can only help those who choose to first help themselves. I knew that, and reluctantly, did the energy work to cut off my own energetic connection from that person. While this may seem harsh to the person who hasn’t yet learned the value of their own energy, this is simply to preserve what you have worked hard to get. By helping someone who doesn’t want to help themselves, even if this is simply through an energetic transfer and not upholding energetic boundaries (aka thinking about them, sending them good vibes) while nothing physical (such as a conversation) even takes place, you don’t help them gain clarity on their situation. You don’t help them suddenly see how they need to start choosing themselves. You don’t help them to move up in life. The reason? They have to choose it, when they are finally fed up with the life they are living. They have to be so done with their own crappy life that they want to level up. No one can do it for them. By trying, all you are doing is giving away your own light and wearing yourself out. Now, you may be thinking of all the times you have done just that, if you are an empath like me. If this is you, I want to remind you that its okay. This is how we learn. Right now is a time for gentleness with yourself. Time is irreversible and beating yourself up for lost time won’t do anything, it will only prevent the flow of energy that could move you into a brighter future with changed behaviors. Also, desiring to help people is A GOOD TRAIT! It doesn’t make you broken. It means you have a beautiful heart, a desire to love and care for others. This is a lovely thing to have in a world that is so full of cold hearted, self-centered individuals who only think of themselves. No, if you want to truly protect your energy without becoming cold hearted, you have to first acknowledge your own goodness, the kindness of your own soul that would even want to love others when they haven’t earned it. This means that you are mastering unconditional love. It is a very positive sign! Now, the other part of unconditional love is self-love. Self-love is that part of you that says “yes, I have empathy for them, but I also choose myself. I choose to put up an energetic (or physical or mental) boundary with them because I have so much self-love that I want to protect my own energy”.

People do this a lot with family members. We give them chance after chance to change simply because they are a blood relation. If they treat us like s*** we justify it, because “they’re parents and we only have so much time with them”. We do this with partners who aren’t ready for a healthy relationship, simply because we love them. But remember, real love is that unconditional love that holds others to a high standard if they want to be in our lives. In order to have a functional relationship of any sort, we must FIRST choose ourselves. That self-love again, it says “I love you but here is the standard of treatment I expect AND if we are to be together you need to choose yourself too”. And ultimately, you are responsible solely for YOU and how you act, how you protect yourself physically, energetically, and emotionally and spiritually.

Now, here’s the kicker.

1)     The people who want to evolve will be magnetically drawn to you when they are ready to do the work. This means that, without even trying, they will find you and you will be able to help them just by being you, by exemplifying a high-value life.

2)     Quantum physics tells us that we are all connected on a subconscious, energetic level. This means that people who you have unconscious bonds with (such as a twin soul connection even when it is not physically realized) will automatically receive extra help when they are ready for it simply because of their soul bond with you!!

3)     Also, because of quantum physics, we know that if each of us works on ourselves, we literally raise the collective consciousness, which makes this entire planet a better place for everyone who wants to level up!

Because of these three things, the very best thing that you can do, if you are an empath who doesn’t want to see people suffering, is to work on yourself. It is to protect your energy, be gracious with yourself as you learn to do that even better, and continue to choose healing. These choices will truly give you the ability to not only nurture yourself, but also help those who truly want and are ready for the help.